Ten Ways to Improve Your Game With the Ladies
by Alex Strandberg
Building attraction in women is all about the right things while
avoiding the wrong. Depending on what you do on a date she can either
fall in love with you in moments or pick up a phone call from a friend
bailing her out.
Here is a list of the right things to do:
1. Stop saying “just kidding” after telling a joke that is a little insulting
You were doing great by insulting her and keeping it funny but you
blew it the second “just kidding” came out of your mouth. Unless you
were out for blood when you told the joke there is no need to let her
know you weren’t being serious.
When you follow your joke up with “just kidding” the only thing she
hears is “I’m sorry, please, please, please don’t disapprove of me, you
still like me right?”. You think nothing of it but she hears all of
that when you speak those two detrimental little words-just kidding.
It’s obvious that you were just joking and there is no need to say it
unless you fear her getting upset.
With two words you have told her and everyone else that you fear not
being liked. Women don’t want men who are affected by the opinions of
others. They want men who apologize to no one and put little value on
what other people think.
Ultimately you want to get to a place where you don’t care what
other people think of you but that takes time. For now, just start by
eliminating the phrase ‘just kidding’ and become comfortable with the
idea that women might get upset by what you say.
It’s the fear of disapproval that causes women to lose attraction
for men. I get away with jokes and insults that most people would get
scolded for because of how congruent I am. I stick to my guns and could
care less if the girl gets upset or walks away. It’s my complete
disregard for their approval that allows me to get away with anything
while creating more and more attraction.
2. Stop Asking if she is ok
Asking if someone is ok when they are visibly upset or crying is
fine but asking a girl if she is ok during a date is not. When you are
out on a date with a girl and you ask her if she is ok, she feels your
neediness. You are basically asking her if she is still attracted to
you and making sure the date is going well. You say “are you ok?” but
she hears “am I doing ok with you?”
The very act of asking will cause the dynamic of the date to change.
That question will actually cause her to become upset and lose
attraction for her. You are worried that not everything is going as
planned and your question becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
If she is not ok then she will make it very obvious. If the date
isn’t going well don’t panic because it’s not that big of a deal. You
check up on her because you are greatly attached to how the date will
end. You worry about losing her and your plan is to correct any ‘wrong’
behaviors you are doing in order to keep her in the game.
If you are out there talking to several women a week then you won’t
have to care whether or not this one goes well because another date is
right around the corner.
3. Leaning back when you talk to people
Nothing spells neediness and fear like leaning in when talking to
other people. Leaning in when you talk is similar to a little kid
pulling on their parents shirt for attention. Seeking attention equals
lack of attraction.
Become a rock when you socialize. Hold your ground and never let
your upper body lean in when she talks. If there is something that you
can’t quite hear, ask her to repeat herself and let her get closer to
you.
This doesn’t mean for you to become snobbish and disinterested in
the person you are talking to. Aloof might seem like a good idea but it
is the wrong way to go about getting women attracted to you. You will
start to attract the wrong type of women if you take this route.
4. Breathing during a conversation
Interacting with women can become nerve wrecking at times. Your mind
is racing, heart pulsing and your stomach feels like how it would after
a bachelor party. Breathing can help you curb some of this nervousness
you feel.
At first it will be very difficult to take long deep breathes when
you are extremely nervous. In time you will start to anticipate that
anxiety rising and you will breathe deeply to relax yourself.
Think of a time when you felt extremely comfortable and relaxed when
interacting with other people. Odds are good that you were funny, smart
and did all of the right things without even trying. Everything just
seemed natural, didn’t it? Learn to develop that calm state through
breathing deeply around women and in social situations.
5. Not saying much at all when you are talking to people
I’m sure a lot of you talk far more than you should when interacting
with women. Half of what you say isn’t really important or interesting
but you say it anyways. It serves to fill the conversation because you
fear that oh so dreaded awkward silence. Learn to become comfortable
with awkward silence.
Stop saying “yeah” when you can’t think of anything better to say.
Stop simply waiting your turn to speak and actually listen to the person talk.
Take a week or even a month and talk as half of much as you normally
do. You will learn about a million different lessons but the most
important lessons to take away are:
1. You can CHOOSE when to talk and when not to talk. Choice is powerful and power is extremely attractive to women
2. You can stop talking as much and everything will be OK. People
who talk too much do so because they fear not being liked. They believe
that the more they talk to more people will pay attention to them and
bettering their chances of being liked.
6. Learning to hold eye contact with people
A large indicator to women that you have low self esteem and low
confidence is your ability or inability to hold eye contact-it’s all in
the eyes. Shy people have a very difficult time looking other people in
the eyes and surprise, surprise they also do very horrible with women.
When you talk to people look them in the eyes. At first you will go
overboard with this and come off as creepy but that’s ok because there
is no such thing as failure. Over time you will learn to gain balance
between no eye contact and too much eye contact.
Walk down the street and try to catch the eyes of any women you see.
Hold that eye contact till THEY look away. If you are having
difficulty with this exercise I suggest wearing sunglasses so you can
see them but they can’t see your eyes.
7. Taking your time when you speak
There are people who naturally talk fast but a lot of this behavior
is learned and thus can be unlearned. It’s a force of habit that needs
to be replaced by talking very….very…slowly.
When you think of a slow talker think of James Bond. The way he
introduced himself to women was extremely attractive. He had women
soaking their panties within seconds and all he did was tell them his
name. This would never happen if he had introduced himself like a crack
head in a hurry trying to get a fix.
Take a moment to pause and breathe before saying anything. There is no need to rush when what you have to say is important.
8. Not letting people interrupt you when you talk
Dominance is attractive. Leading is attractive. Letting other people
run the conversation is not. If it’s a fun conversation and people
interrupt you, that can be forgiven but not when you have something
worth while.
If you are trying to tell a story or make a point don’t let ANYONE,
including her, interrupt you. Talking over them by raising your voice
will quell any of those annoying interrupters. If they continue to do
this you can stop and tell them “shhh”-it will get the point across.
9. Taking your hands out of your pockets and eliminating your social anxiety release
There are many ways to deal with uncomfortable situations and one of
the biggest is sticking your hands in your pockets. Don’t do that.
Instead of trying to release your social anxiety by closing off your
body learn to relax and open up. Here are a couple of things that
people do when they are nervous that they shouldn’t:
*Hands in pockets
*Looking away
*Fixing their shirt
*Fidgeting
*Playing with their cell phones
Women will feel that your nervousness and become uncomfortable .
Ultimately the goal is not to be uncomfortable or nervous at all but
for now you can work on dealing with your anxiety.
Most people use the above to run away from their anxiety like they
have been trained to do. Embrace the awkward moments because there will
be many. Learn to face your anxiety head on instead of trying to avoid
it.
10. Stop Fake Laughter
How many times a day do you laugh at things that aren’t really truly
funny? I’m guessing a lot because I used to do the same thing. Faking
laughter happens for a couple of reasons:
1. We are nervous
2. We want the approval of others
3. Giving approval to others
You are worried that the other person might feel bad about making a
bad joke so you laugh out of courtesy. You fear that if you don’t laugh
they won’t like you as much as they did before. Women can tell whether
or not you are being genuine and laughing at bad jokes is not. They
feel it and some of the attraction will be lost along the way.
If you a big time offender of this act then I would suggest not
laughing at any jokes for a short while to balance things out. Maybe
give them a smile so they won’t think you are a souless sociopath who
can’t comprehend basic humor.
Watch this video from www.collegehumor.com to get an idea of what
I’m talking about. When the girl meets the other guys and one of them
asks her “so, where do you work?”and she responds “I work at a PR firm,
it’s a living” the men crack up laughing. It wasn’t a funny joke but
they laughed to gain her approval.
by Alex Strandberg
Building attraction in women is all about the right things while
avoiding the wrong. Depending on what you do on a date she can either
fall in love with you in moments or pick up a phone call from a friend
bailing her out.
Here is a list of the right things to do:
1. Stop saying “just kidding” after telling a joke that is a little insulting
You were doing great by insulting her and keeping it funny but you
blew it the second “just kidding” came out of your mouth. Unless you
were out for blood when you told the joke there is no need to let her
know you weren’t being serious.
When you follow your joke up with “just kidding” the only thing she
hears is “I’m sorry, please, please, please don’t disapprove of me, you
still like me right?”. You think nothing of it but she hears all of
that when you speak those two detrimental little words-just kidding.
It’s obvious that you were just joking and there is no need to say it
unless you fear her getting upset.
With two words you have told her and everyone else that you fear not
being liked. Women don’t want men who are affected by the opinions of
others. They want men who apologize to no one and put little value on
what other people think.
Ultimately you want to get to a place where you don’t care what
other people think of you but that takes time. For now, just start by
eliminating the phrase ‘just kidding’ and become comfortable with the
idea that women might get upset by what you say.
It’s the fear of disapproval that causes women to lose attraction
for men. I get away with jokes and insults that most people would get
scolded for because of how congruent I am. I stick to my guns and could
care less if the girl gets upset or walks away. It’s my complete
disregard for their approval that allows me to get away with anything
while creating more and more attraction.
2. Stop Asking if she is ok
Asking if someone is ok when they are visibly upset or crying is
fine but asking a girl if she is ok during a date is not. When you are
out on a date with a girl and you ask her if she is ok, she feels your
neediness. You are basically asking her if she is still attracted to
you and making sure the date is going well. You say “are you ok?” but
she hears “am I doing ok with you?”
The very act of asking will cause the dynamic of the date to change.
That question will actually cause her to become upset and lose
attraction for her. You are worried that not everything is going as
planned and your question becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
If she is not ok then she will make it very obvious. If the date
isn’t going well don’t panic because it’s not that big of a deal. You
check up on her because you are greatly attached to how the date will
end. You worry about losing her and your plan is to correct any ‘wrong’
behaviors you are doing in order to keep her in the game.
If you are out there talking to several women a week then you won’t
have to care whether or not this one goes well because another date is
right around the corner.
3. Leaning back when you talk to people
Nothing spells neediness and fear like leaning in when talking to
other people. Leaning in when you talk is similar to a little kid
pulling on their parents shirt for attention. Seeking attention equals
lack of attraction.
Become a rock when you socialize. Hold your ground and never let
your upper body lean in when she talks. If there is something that you
can’t quite hear, ask her to repeat herself and let her get closer to
you.
This doesn’t mean for you to become snobbish and disinterested in
the person you are talking to. Aloof might seem like a good idea but it
is the wrong way to go about getting women attracted to you. You will
start to attract the wrong type of women if you take this route.
4. Breathing during a conversation
Interacting with women can become nerve wrecking at times. Your mind
is racing, heart pulsing and your stomach feels like how it would after
a bachelor party. Breathing can help you curb some of this nervousness
you feel.
At first it will be very difficult to take long deep breathes when
you are extremely nervous. In time you will start to anticipate that
anxiety rising and you will breathe deeply to relax yourself.
Think of a time when you felt extremely comfortable and relaxed when
interacting with other people. Odds are good that you were funny, smart
and did all of the right things without even trying. Everything just
seemed natural, didn’t it? Learn to develop that calm state through
breathing deeply around women and in social situations.
5. Not saying much at all when you are talking to people
I’m sure a lot of you talk far more than you should when interacting
with women. Half of what you say isn’t really important or interesting
but you say it anyways. It serves to fill the conversation because you
fear that oh so dreaded awkward silence. Learn to become comfortable
with awkward silence.
Stop saying “yeah” when you can’t think of anything better to say.
Stop simply waiting your turn to speak and actually listen to the person talk.
Take a week or even a month and talk as half of much as you normally
do. You will learn about a million different lessons but the most
important lessons to take away are:
1. You can CHOOSE when to talk and when not to talk. Choice is powerful and power is extremely attractive to women
2. You can stop talking as much and everything will be OK. People
who talk too much do so because they fear not being liked. They believe
that the more they talk to more people will pay attention to them and
bettering their chances of being liked.
6. Learning to hold eye contact with people
A large indicator to women that you have low self esteem and low
confidence is your ability or inability to hold eye contact-it’s all in
the eyes. Shy people have a very difficult time looking other people in
the eyes and surprise, surprise they also do very horrible with women.
When you talk to people look them in the eyes. At first you will go
overboard with this and come off as creepy but that’s ok because there
is no such thing as failure. Over time you will learn to gain balance
between no eye contact and too much eye contact.
Walk down the street and try to catch the eyes of any women you see.
Hold that eye contact till THEY look away. If you are having
difficulty with this exercise I suggest wearing sunglasses so you can
see them but they can’t see your eyes.
7. Taking your time when you speak
There are people who naturally talk fast but a lot of this behavior
is learned and thus can be unlearned. It’s a force of habit that needs
to be replaced by talking very….very…slowly.
When you think of a slow talker think of James Bond. The way he
introduced himself to women was extremely attractive. He had women
soaking their panties within seconds and all he did was tell them his
name. This would never happen if he had introduced himself like a crack
head in a hurry trying to get a fix.
Take a moment to pause and breathe before saying anything. There is no need to rush when what you have to say is important.
8. Not letting people interrupt you when you talk
Dominance is attractive. Leading is attractive. Letting other people
run the conversation is not. If it’s a fun conversation and people
interrupt you, that can be forgiven but not when you have something
worth while.
If you are trying to tell a story or make a point don’t let ANYONE,
including her, interrupt you. Talking over them by raising your voice
will quell any of those annoying interrupters. If they continue to do
this you can stop and tell them “shhh”-it will get the point across.
9. Taking your hands out of your pockets and eliminating your social anxiety release
There are many ways to deal with uncomfortable situations and one of
the biggest is sticking your hands in your pockets. Don’t do that.
Instead of trying to release your social anxiety by closing off your
body learn to relax and open up. Here are a couple of things that
people do when they are nervous that they shouldn’t:
*Hands in pockets
*Looking away
*Fixing their shirt
*Fidgeting
*Playing with their cell phones
Women will feel that your nervousness and become uncomfortable .
Ultimately the goal is not to be uncomfortable or nervous at all but
for now you can work on dealing with your anxiety.
Most people use the above to run away from their anxiety like they
have been trained to do. Embrace the awkward moments because there will
be many. Learn to face your anxiety head on instead of trying to avoid
it.
10. Stop Fake Laughter
How many times a day do you laugh at things that aren’t really truly
funny? I’m guessing a lot because I used to do the same thing. Faking
laughter happens for a couple of reasons:
1. We are nervous
2. We want the approval of others
3. Giving approval to others
You are worried that the other person might feel bad about making a
bad joke so you laugh out of courtesy. You fear that if you don’t laugh
they won’t like you as much as they did before. Women can tell whether
or not you are being genuine and laughing at bad jokes is not. They
feel it and some of the attraction will be lost along the way.
If you a big time offender of this act then I would suggest not
laughing at any jokes for a short while to balance things out. Maybe
give them a smile so they won’t think you are a souless sociopath who
can’t comprehend basic humor.
Watch this video from www.collegehumor.com to get an idea of what
I’m talking about. When the girl meets the other guys and one of them
asks her “so, where do you work?”and she responds “I work at a PR firm,
it’s a living” the men crack up laughing. It wasn’t a funny joke but
they laughed to gain her approval.