As happy as you may be, chances are that you, like many outwardly
content men, suffer from a lack of self-confidence. This is not to say
that you are overly shy,
nervous, inadequate in your daily routine or that you have any serious
psychological hang-ups, but it could be a lack of self-confidence if
you feel as though you are not living up to your potential.
Even if you're reasonably assured most of the time, it is beneficial to
do a little mental strengthening every once in a while. It feels good
to be self-confident, which perpetuates more confidence, impresses
people and brings you success.
Simply put, self-confidence is a sense of certainty that your own
personality is honest, capable and fulfilling. Self-confident people
generally have a high self-esteem. If you have a diminished
self-esteem, bolstering your self-confidence will help immeasurably.
Note that there is a distinguished difference between self-confidence
and confidence in general. You may be confident that you can impress a woman or a boss,
while at the same time you question whether or not you are interesting
to smart women or have chosen the right job. Or, you might walk into a
party and command the floor, but as soon as you have a moment to
yourself, you wonder if you really fit in.
exist without self-confidence, meaning that there can be a certain
degree of falsehood -- of lying to one's self -- at play. Get a handle
Threats to self-confidence
Threats to your
self-confidence can be felt in almost any challenging circumstance,
from reading the bus schedule to getting fired. Different men are
susceptible to diminished self-confidence on account of different
causes. While losing the pick-up football game made your neighbor
question his physical condition,
it didn't bother you nearly as much as failing to impress your boss at
today's meeting. The truth is that self-confidence can be attacked by
Of course, there are common culprits. We each
want to be the ideal man for our woman, so we struggle to be
financially independent, physically healthy, intelligent, dependable,
and have a strong character. If any of these issues have been wearing
away at your manhood lately, take a deep breath and realize that we all
have the same thoughts; there's nothing wrong with you.
1. Surround yourself with good people
Make it a point to
socialize with people that you share a mutual respect, and who are able
to put you in the limelight during conversations. Friendship
is a fundamental boost to the self-confidence of both parties. When
your pal is quick to recognize that you're a cool cat, you'll notice it
2. Be well-rounded
Maintain interest and skill in all aspects of your life. In other words, don't neglect your model-building hobby, your public-speaking
voice or your lawn-maintenance schedule. Meanwhile, don't let your job
absorb all of your free time, and make sure your new partner doesn't
keep you away from your other passions. To maintain a maximized level
of self-confidence, you want all of your personal qualities to be
exercised as often as possible.
3. Keep up with the world
Follow the news and do your best to know a little bit about everything.
Learn something new every day, and make a point of having an opinion on
things, from current events to long-term political issues. This way,
you won't feel completely out of touch when you encounter old friends
or new acquaintances.
4. Socialize with everyone
The bank teller, the bus driver, your doctor's secretary; it is
beneficial to strike up a conversation with anyone who crosses your
path. Sharpen your social skills
and this will make you more sociable and confident with people,
especially strangers. As a result, you won't feel threatened or
insecure in unfamiliar situations.
5. Partake in things you excel at
Are you currently a bit overweight, but used to be a star point guard?
Then stop avoiding the neighborhood pickup game and show them what
you're made of. You will, more importantly, show yourself what you're
made of and build your self-confidence. Even if you have to go out of
your way, doing something that you know how to do well will boost your
conviction and self-confidence when you do something else.
Make it all happen
We all need to boost our self-confidence in different ways and for
different reasons. The trick is to find out where you need to improve
and then go out and do just that. When you have self-confidence and
faith in yourself, life makes more sense and it becomes something you
can tackle. So take the bull by the horns -- the bull is you.