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    Advice from a Wise Dating Guru

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    HatemFarouk
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    عدد المساهمات : 88
    تاريخ التسجيل : 30/10/2009
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    Advice from a Wise Dating Guru Empty Advice from a Wise Dating Guru

    مُساهمة  HatemFarouk السبت يناير 08, 2011 4:14 pm

    I was searching how to get rid of Approach Anxiety, and be stronger. I found a topic which is like this:

    There are so many products on curing approach anxiety, and mystery's theory on the caving man days. It's all bullshit. It totally hit me one day when I realized that approach anxiety is just a sexual anchor you created for yourself. Men watch porn (hot girls) when they masturbate and they do it alone in their privacy. So when you go out and see a hot girl, you get a hard on and feel weird at the same time because you know it's weird to masturbate in a social settings.

    The cure for this is simple:
    1. Just realizing that this is just a self created sexual anchor help a great deal.
    2. When you jerk off next time, be proud of youself and anchor the feeling of confident instead of having the anxiety that you might get caught.

    Similarly for oneitis, you probably have created a sexual anchor on that girl without knowing. Probably because she looks like one of the pornstars you masturbate or fantasize about. Realizing it is an anchor should help a great deal.

    It's not about that girl, it's about your sexual anchor. Just jerk off by looking at another pornstar, that should resolve your anchor. And the problem of oneitis can be easily cure by having lots of female companions. It's a numbers game, just chat up all the girls you think are hot and push forward for all of them. You will realize when you are at the buffet, you will be too busy to even remember the lousy hamburger you used to spend all day thinking about.

    Choose your girl carefully, no matter how hot they might look, they are probably not even half as good in the bed then you fantasize about. And all girls have boobs, asses and suction. The view from the doggie position is pretty much the same.

    About how women feel when a guy hit on them because they shows some cleavages. It's like all girls in the club approach you because you have a penis and they will all buy you stuffs and look like puppies just because they want to sleep with you. And they are probably not good in bed at all. (think biting on you penis with their teeth) while you need to spend half an hour each and give them multiple orgasms. You are far better off googling your way to pleasure when you want to and spend the rest of the time doing other fun stuffs.

    Just my 2 cents.


    But there was an Awesome reply :

    I don't agree. I have other opinion - approach anxiety is a fear called "I want to be perceive as...". You approach a girl and you want her to see you as a [examples] strong, nice looking, best-pussy-licker-in-a-world, etc. You are afraid because you don't want to fail.

    Here is the exercise for you:
    I WANT TO BE PERCEIVE AS... - write down EVERYTHING that comes to your mind.
    next step:
    I DON'T WANT TO BE PERCEIVE AS... - write down EVERYTHING that comes to your mind.

    Now you have the stories that you've got to stop believe in. The best way to do it is with "The Work" by Katie Byron.

    Just do the exercise and say "bye" to approach anxiety for the rest of your life and say "hello" for you new live.

    This will help a looot:
    Mateusz Grzesiak - Getting rid of opinion of others:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YhR2XE892s

    Have fun!

    I asked him for advice :

    you have talked about your opinion on getting rid of approach anxiety. i have read it since 4 days. and it resonated deep inside me. i am in the stage of gathering information about self mastery, idea installing , releasing negativity , nlp , hypnosis, etc . so when i got the key beliefs and know by problematic beliewf , i will get rid of them. but iwas not very sure.

    today i read it again. and i will use your advice with every technique i know, not just the work .

    my big problem is approaching. when i feel very confident, and get down to pick up chicks or when i see pretty one, i feel frustrated. and my confidence is low again. esp. when she reciprocate my eye contact.

    plz, can u help me in that - i will be sure to use your advice in the topic - but i need your help . and tell me how u did that.

    thank you.

    i appreciate your advice really much.

    His fascinating response was :


    Hi!

    I'm glad you've send me a message. It means you want to work on yourself, you want to be a better person and it great! It's always nice to meet people like this. Smile

    So there are 2 things I want to talk about:

    1. BELIEVES - Let's say your mind is a computer, then all your believes you carry in your mind are like software. As you probably know, there are a lot of diffrent software. Some will make your PC work amazing and help you discover and do wonderful things. Some are like a viruses which can damage your PC and make it work not as good as it's really possible.

    You talk about pretty chicks and your confidence. Since now, I want you to notice one thing - in your head, when you judge a woman you also compare yourself to her and also judge YOU! When you see a really fat, ugly woman you probably have no approach anxiety [or it's less intense] because you belive that you are more attractive then she is. On the other hand - when you see a woman, the type of "top model" what do you think [BELIEVE] about her, and about YOU? Just go into the "field" find hot chick and think of approaching her and see what comes to your mind.

    What you think about yourself is not really what you are. If you find in your head believe that you are not attractive then it might not be true [and trust me, it really is bullshit if you think so]. That's where you should start working on your believes. Ask your self - "is that believe USEFULL for me?" If not then ask "What do I want insteed of this?" and find proves that this is the truth.

    The Work will really help you here. I'm not using anyother technique. It might take some time to learn it but it's time spend on making your life better, feeling fucking awesome and getting what you really want.

    2. APPROACHING - The next very important step is just approaching a woman. I gues you are familiar with idea of getting out of the comfort zone. Ask yourself what's the really EASIEST thing I can do which is still getting out of the comfort zone? It might be just smiling to a woman, saying "hi" or anything you feel you can do.

    Aim BIG and then make small steps and you will achieve anything you want.

    I hope it helped you a little and please remember - taking any action is ALWAYS better then doing nothing. So start now, make small steps and see how amazed you are when you see you life changing the way you want it to.

    ps. One more thing. When she's starring at you and if you have problems keeping your eyes on her, I want you to ask yourself this question - "What's the worst thing that can happend if I keep my eyes still on her?". Tell me when you got any conclusion.

    Let me know how you are doing.

    Take care. Smile

    Silther.

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